PA Gov. Tom Wolf announced which counties will be the state’s first to move into the green phase of his coronavirus reopening plan on Friday. At the same time, some areas still stuck in the red phase, otherwise known as a complete stay-at-home order, could be allowed to soon move into the yellow phase.
New Colors for Phased Reopening Plan And What They Mean
Blood Red: You’re cooking for the foreseeable future buddy
Light Red: You can go outside as long as you don’t breathe
Maroon: Why are you not wearing your useless facemask, Ma’am?
Mustard Yellow: Sure, jackass, eat at a restaurant. We dare you.
Honey: Museums are open: three people may enter per hour
Amber: We hope your barber works fast
Dark Green: No one has died here recently (that we know of, but nobody's really counting)
Teal: Enjoy your movie! Good luck eating popcorn with a mask
Emerald: Time to hit the gym! The one that’s still in business
Light Green: Happy 2024!
-- Josh Piven