From The Philadelphia Inquirer--
Frontier Airlines abandons plan to sell $39 social-distancing upgrade
Faced with widespread outrage from Democratic lawmakers, Frontier Airlines said late Wednesday it was abandoning its plan to sell passengers a $39 upgrade that would guarantee they could sit next to an empty middle seat while flying during the coronavirus outbreak.
New Frontier Upgrades Now Available!
Coffee cup guaranteed to be sterile: $2
Coffee cup guaranteed to be used by two passengers or fewer: $1
Frontier Full-Frontal® In-Flight Face mask, new: $5
Frontier In-Flight Face mask, nose only: $3
In-flight snack handled by two flight attendants: $4
In-flight snack handled by many people: $2
Air sickness bag, new: $3
Air sickness bag, used: no charge
Frontier Coronacliner® Guaranteed Virus-Free Bulkhead Seating: $49
Frontier Some-guy-wet-coughing Zone 6 Seating: $29
Frontier Skyair® In-Flight Ventilator: $399
Instructions for Skyair® In-Flight Ventilator: $299
Seat with clean tray table: $19
Seat with unidentified grime on tray table: $9
Infrared Temperature Check at Gate: $5
Rectal Temperature Check at Gate: no charge
Frontier First Class: You're joking, right?
-- Josh Piven