JOSH PIVEN : AUTHOR, HUMORIST, PLAYWRIGHT, DILETTANTE
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Housebound - Day 56

5/8/2020

 
Picture
From The Philadelphia Inquirer--

Frontier Airlines abandons plan to sell $39 social-distancing upgrade
Faced with widespread outrage from Democratic lawmakers, Frontier Airlines said late Wednesday it was abandoning its plan to sell passengers a $39 upgrade that would guarantee they could sit next to an empty middle seat while flying during the coronavirus outbreak.
 
New Frontier Upgrades Now Available!
 
Coffee cup guaranteed to be sterile: $2
Coffee cup guaranteed to be used by two passengers or fewer: $1
Frontier Full-Frontal® In-Flight Face mask, new: $5
Frontier In-Flight Face mask, nose only: $3
In-flight snack handled by two flight attendants: $4
In-flight snack handled by many people: $2
Air sickness bag, new: $3
Air sickness bag, used: no charge
Frontier Coronacliner® Guaranteed Virus-Free Bulkhead Seating: $49
Frontier Some-guy-wet-coughing Zone 6 Seating: $29
Frontier Skyair® In-Flight Ventilator: $399
Instructions for Skyair® In-Flight Ventilator: $299
Seat with clean tray table: $19
Seat with unidentified grime on tray table: $9
Infrared Temperature Check at Gate: $5
Rectal Temperature Check at Gate: no charge
Frontier First Class: You're joking, right?

​-- Josh Piven


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    You know who I am, right? It's in the "bio" section. I'm the guy stuck at home.

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  • Home
  • About
  • 2019 WCS
  • Museum Exhibition
  • Non Fiction
  • Novels
    • Below Grade Chapter 1
    • Best-Seller Chapter 1
  • Television
  • Stage Plays
    • No Reservations
    • Muddled
    • Reformation
  • Speeches
  • Columns
  • Press/Media
  • Mailing List
  • Contact
  • Housebound: The Blog