Housebound - Day 40

If I only had a mask...

Many Web sites and videos have been devoted to new games/activities/DIYs performed during the pandemic. Here are a few we suggest here at Housebound.
 
Game: Dirty Laundry
How to play: Discuss reasons clothes are getting dirty since we don’t leave the goddamn house.
Object: See who has the most realistic explanation for anything other than underwear and socks being dirty.
 
Game: Guess the loads!
How to play: Guess how many times we will run the dishwasher in a week.
Object: See who comes closest to predicting how many fucking loads of dirty dishes we’re creating by eating in three meals a day for weeks with no fucking end in sight.
 
Game: Whose videoconference is louder?
How to play: Requires 2-4 people in the household on videoconferences at the same time.
Object: See who screams unnecessarily into the microphone, and whose remote colleagues are most annoying. Cannot be played with headphones.
 
Game: Guess who’s cooking dinner? Again?
How to play: Try to figure out why, with multiple people in the house all day and perfectly capable of making at least pasta, the same parent cooks all the meals.
Object: Guilt.
 
Game: Bottle toss
How to play: Throw empty wine and booze bottles into the recycle bin when you’re drunk, hoping they won’t break but secretly knowing at least a few will.
Object: See if you can go three days without filling the bin. Good luck!
 
Game: CVS Roulette
How to play: Spin a dial that will point to the person who will risk their life by going to CVS for the toilet paper and sanitizer you know they won’t have, because they never have them.
Object: To not get the virus.
 
Game: Flight to Fresh Air
How to play: See who can stay outside the longest before running back to the house after being frightened by strangers and/or deranged people who get too close.
Object: To not get the virus
 
DIY Project: Replace the toilet paper roll when it’s empty, if you used the last sheet.
Steps: Self-explanatory. Just like it’s been for the ten years before the quarantine.
 
DIY Project: Do your virtual school work without bitching about it for once.
Steps: You don’t need to get up until 8:30am, don’t need to leave the house, and have three hours of work per day, if that. Yet still, you complain.
 
DIY Project: Bring your dirty dishes down from your room and put them in the dishwasher without being asked
Steps: Good luck finding them all. Try using your sense of smell. Bonus points for mold.
 
-- Josh Piven