Housebound: Day 2

We lost Max today.

We think he’s probably hiding in the basement. Cats aren’t used to having people in the house all day. Likely, he’s just exhausted and taking a long nap. His litter box is full (because Hello! I’m the only one who empties it!) so that’s a good sign.

Liquor stores close tonight for the duration of the outbreak. I think we’re probably ok, though on Day 22 we may be switching to Taylor Dry Sherry, or, possibly, Mirin. I’ve calculated that I can drink one quarantini per day for the next ten days before the gin runs out. But on day 5 I’ll have to cut back from three olives to one. It’s bad, people.

Went to five stores yesterday looking for toilet paper. They’re limiting purchases so I taught the kids a new game called “Hide The Roll.” I think I’d rather not wipe than use Scott Tissue. Single ply. #firstworldproblems. 

How do you stay six feet away from someone in an elevator? 

I took a long walk today because I had to get out of the house. My main concern was: Is the Parking Authority still ticketing, or is this like a parking holiday? A woman yelled across the street at me. She wanted to know if the Art Museum was closed. I told her I was pretty sure all the museums were shut down. She replied with an expletive. It’s good to know there’s still broad community support for arts and culture. 

My office emailed and told me not to come in, because I am not essential. Was that not obvious before?

The kids are doing their school work remotely. Basically, this means that when they’re home, they each have three screens going at the same time. So, business as usual. My younger  daughter has set up a remote workstation in one corner of her room. She has a file folder for each subject on her bookshelf and a special backdrop for her videoconferencing. I FaceTime in my underwear. She’ll learn.

I’ve gotten really good at hand washing. I think I could be a surgeon.  

I coughed in public today. Not recommended. Virus and allergy season falling at the same time. Diabolical. 

Comcast today announced they will offer free Internet to the needy, and unlimited data to everyone else.

So, all it took was a global pandemic. 
--Josh Piven