Housebound - Day 16

How do you sanitize shopping carts? Step 1: Dunk...

Step 2: Rinse!

Last night was a treat! Went out for drinks with friends, then out to dinner (Vietnamese: yum!) then to a movie. 

Later, I woke up.

How I long for the days when I could avoid people because I wanted to, not because I had to. I spent five minutes at Target waiting for a women to move away from the eggs. Five. Minutes.

After that, I played COVID Chicken: Also known as the "who's going to go first down the aisle?" game.

This is when two people are at opposite ends of a narrow grocery store aisle. Who should enter first? Is it a stand-off? What if we're both shopping for the same item? Say, a bag of rice? (Joke's on us, there is no rice!) Occasionally, one person will "take a lap:" hit a different aisle before returning, hoping the other shopper has finished. (Unless they're reading all the expiration dates on the eggs. Got news for you, ma'am: we're not going to run out of eggs. Hens lay an egg a day, virus or no, Just sayin')

What I don't understand, truly, about the grocery stores is how they have ZERO frozen foods. Nothing. I can understand hoarding ice cream. Fine, get your calories how you wish. But are people really stockpiling frozen lima beans? Is frozen cauliflower now a prepper food? I really don't get it. Never imagined I'd be longing for ice-encrusted spinach, but there you go.

After shopping I took an absolutely surreal walk into town. Why was it surreal, you ask? Because I was walking down the middle of the street. It's like The Walking Dead, but with no zombie excitement. Just... people and their dogs. (And, by the way, a-hole on 17th, COVID is like a snowstorm. The dog shit rules still apply. Pick that crap up, it's not contagious.)

On the way home, I passed this gorgeous little item:

​Let's put aside, just for a moment, the fact that the "FREE" sign really should've had an exclamation point, because WOW, what a fucking deal. Let's also ignore the fact that the warranty is probably expired and your home is 100% guaranteed to explode if you install this (yes, kids, note that it's gas, not electric.)

The real question here, in my view, is was this properly cleaned and fully sanitized with Lysol before it was put on the sidewalk? Especially those filthy disgusting knobs? 

If yes... well, free oven. Now if only we could find some food to cook.

--Josh Piven

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