Housebound - Day 60 (WTF??)

Coffee, or Covid?

From The Times:
A 112-year-old German company has found itself playing an unexpected yet crucial role in supplying the country with the face masks its population needs to safely reopen its economy. The company, Melitta, made coffee filters and vacuum cleaner bags before the coronavirus pandemic hit, but it quickly retooled one of its coffee filter production systems to make masks that filter out bacteria as efficiently as simple medical masks. They are shaped like the coffee filters Melitta still makes for sale in grocery stores.
 
New Melitta Covid-Coffee Filter Mask Styles
 
The “Pour Over”
Popular with Millennials willing to pay $6 for a trendy coffee or a face-mask, this see-and-be-scene item is perfect for dudes with bushy beards, tattoos, and laptop computers who sit around all day and don’t seem to perform any productive work.
 
The “Percolator”
Your basic Boomer mask that is cheap, light brown, pretty weak, and with no real character, but very easy to make. A mask grandma would love!
 
The “Drip”
Easygoing, effective mask for the busy professional—who’s not yet stepped up to a gold filter mask—and has just a few minutes to relax with some java before that 9am Zoom call.
 
The “Espresso”
Strictly for the hard-hit Italian crowd, this tiny, dark and powerful mask will make you think you’re sitting at a Café on the Piazza Navona and enjoying a filter-less smoke. Which, of course, you’re not, because: Covid.
 
The “Latte”
A sexy, milky-white mask that screams “I still have a job and can afford fancy things!”
 
The “Cold Brew”
You’ve got nothin’ but time if you’re sporting this trendy mask, which must be steeped the night before wearing. Not available in winter. Oat milk recommended.
 
The “Americano”
These are instructions for sewing your own filter mask, since our Covid coffee products are not available in the United States.

-- Josh Piven