JOSH PIVEN : AUTHOR, HUMORIST, PLAYWRIGHT, DILETTANTE
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Housebound - Day 47

4/29/2020

 
Picture
Finally, a home dye job that works!
From The Times:
 
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has expanded its list of possible symptoms of the coronavirus. The federal health agency changed its website to cite the following symptoms as possible indicators of Covid-19, the infection caused by the coronavirus.  (Previously it had listed just three symptoms: fever, cough and shortness of breath.)
 
  • chills
  • repeated shaking with chills
  • muscle pain
  • headache
  • sore throat
  • loss of taste or smell
 
New symptoms added as of April 28:
 
  • Loss of patience with kids and spouse
  • Arm pain from never-ending cooking
  • Nasal congestion from too much alcohol intake
  • Nasal congestion and non-stop urination from too much alcohol intake: Virus, or you’re over 40.
  • Eye twitch: 100% infectious.
  • Tinnitus. You’re in trouble. Viral-type trouble.
  • That really bad hangnail you had, where you kept biting it instead of using cuticle scissors? That was the virus.
  • Remember when you got too frisky petting the cat and he bit you, and it got red? Virus.
  • That time when you kept coughing after inhaling some red pepper flakes on your pasta? COVID.
  • That crook in your neck from Zooming all day ? Contagious virus.
  • When you yawned really, really wide and your jaw hurt after? Definitely viral.
  • Foot fell asleep and is now all tingly. Virus. Or gout.
  • Uncontrolled Netflix watching. Totally Virus.
  • Watching viral virus videos. Virulent.
-- Josh Piven

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    You know who I am, right? It's in the "bio" section. I'm the guy stuck at home.

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  • Home
  • About
  • 2019 WCS
  • Museum Exhibition
  • Non Fiction
  • Novels
    • Below Grade Chapter 1
    • Best-Seller Chapter 1
  • Television
  • Stage Plays
    • No Reservations
    • Muddled
    • Reformation
  • Speeches
  • Columns
  • Press/Media
  • Mailing List
  • Contact
  • Housebound: The Blog